My Spiritual Journey
I used the word Sub-Station. I elaborate why I said that. In this context a little background of mine is necessary. My journey started with Dvaita since the age of nine, I think.
From the age of 17 to 30 I was an outright atheist who used to hate gods thinking they are mere stones nothing else. Later, I became spiritual seeker. Then started the chain of experiences in their own ways.
In 2002- 2003, I think, I went into my meditation room and entrusted myself to my ‘Inside’ that you may term as Soul or Spirit.
I supplicated to ‘Him’ to take the reins of my human ego in his hands so that I would not astray because of the external forces impinging upon me all the times.
Some tears rolled down my eyes and from there a kind of energy activated. Initially ‘He’ used to talk with me in sign language, then it reaches to my voice and ‘His’ murmur. I have had two identities since then.
As the time goes by, ‘He’ took command over my body and mind or in other words took hold of mine human ‘Ego’. ‘He’ would not allow me to go into the state of eternal bliss.
As soon as I would be ready to go ‘He’ would either open my eyes or would order me sternly to go outside of my meditation room unless I would destroy myself. ‘He’ would repeatedly say “Right time has not come.”
Then came the last of 2011 from where I got to realise gradually why I was never allowed to go into final realisation in known terms. Since 2012 it became more apparent.
Right from there a ‘Sceptic’ took birth in the truest of the sense. He would see almost everything with doubt and suspicion in the spiritual realm.
Say, the unbroken chain of ancient knowledge, spiritual experiences of human clan since the time immemorial, various meditation techniques so and so forth became the part of my skepticism.
One sentence went on echoing inside ‘ Find your ‘Truth’ instead of getting swayed by others no matter who they are’.
Before that I was after ‘Self Realization’ like others and had read almost every book available in the spiritual field.
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